The Tekken Ladies
by Megami Chaos
Summary: Hwoarang was tired of the single life. He needed a woman. No, the Blood Talon didn’t want a wife… he wanted a girlfriend. He decided to take the Tekken women out on dates to see which girl was right for him.
1. Default Chapter

**THE TEKKEN LADIES**

(A/N: I wrote this because I'm insane. If you haven't figured that out already...)

[THE BEGINNING]

Hwoarang was tired of the single life. He needed a woman. No, the Blood Talon didn't want a wife... he wanted a girlfriend. He decided to take the Tekken women out on dates to see which girl was right for him.

DATE ATTEMPT #1- Nina 

Hwoarang sighed and combed his fingers through his hair. He had been waiting for Nina for an hour already and there were no signs that she would be showing up anytime soon.

"Hey... um... what's your name again?" Nina asked. She strode into the restaurant wearing her usual assassin clothes.

"Hwoarang. I..." Hwoarang started.

"Sorry I'm late. My bitch sister stole and ruined my dress. Then my son... uh... what's his face was whining so I slapped him. Then Paul came over to my house drunk and puked on my floor so I had to do my f, f3 attack on him. Then my slutty sister stole my gun. I hate that tramp so much! She's just angry that mom and dad loved me more. That wench even had the nerve to steal my boyfriend. I HATE HER! And then she... um... ah... I can't remember! Damn this short term memory loss..." Nina sat down and looked over the menu, completely forgetting about Hwoarang.

"Major hate towards her sister, very violent, psychotic, and dangerous, also very bad memory. But she is hot." Hwoarang thought.

"So what do you want to order?" Hwoarang asked. Nina looked up startled.

"Who are you?" She asked angrily. Hwoarang looked confused.

"What...?"

"Don't play with me asshole! Who the fuck are you?" Nina pulled out her gun and everyone in the restaurant hid under their tables. Nina climbed on a table and randomly started shooting bullets.

"DIE BITCHES!" Nina screamed manically. Before a stray bullet could hit him, Hwoarang ran out the door.

"Holy shit." Hwoarang crossed Nina's name off his list.

DATE ATTEMPT #2- Anna

"Hi sexy!" Anna twirled around showing off her revealing white dress. Hwoarang stared wide-eyed at her.

"Wow." Hwoarang managed.

"Thanks for asking me out. I was so bored at home with my whore sister and bastard nephew."

"Oh... I see. Take a seat." Hwoarang pointed to a chair. Anna pulled out her compact, fixed her make-up and sat down on Hwoarang's lap.

"How about we skip dinner and get straight to the fun." Anna said, she draped her arms over Hwoarang's shoulders and licked her lips invitingly. Hwoarang's eyebrows shot up and he started to blush.

"Damn." Hwoarang placed his hands on Anna's hips.

"You know what. I hate my sister so much. Mom and dad loved her more than me and she always rubbed that in my face. She gets all the best men and I get her leftovers! Aren't I the prettier sister? Don't I deserve some decent men? Nina says my beauty isn't natural. Ok, I admit it, I wear a teensy bit of make-up, but I'm still prettier! Right?" Anna cried, tears streaming down her face. She got up off of Hwoarang's lap and ran sobbing into the ladies' room.

"I was so sure I was gonna screw her!" Hwoarang sighed and walked out of the restaurant, ignoring the people looking at him oddly.

DATE ATTEMPT #3- Ling Xiaoyu

"This is soo fun! I'm soo glad that I got you to take me to the amusement park instead of some lame restaurant!" Xiaoyu gushed.

"Yeah. Great." Hwoarang said sarcastically. Xiaoyu didn't seem to notice the sarcasm.

"Now we can have fun! Let's go on that ride. Come on Hwoarang! Come on!" Xiaoyu grabbed Hwoarang's arm and pulled him towards the giant Ferris wheel. After they got on the Ferris wheel, Xiaoyu wouldn't stop squirming and talking.

"Do you ever shut up?" Hwoarang said irritated. Xiaoyu smiled and fidgeted some more.

"Your soo much fun Hwoarang! I'm having lotsa fun! This is great! Can you buy me some cotton candy after we get down? Can you get me a teddy bear? I think we are gonna get married. You're the only boy that talks to me. All the others run away. I wonder why. Oh well..." Xiaoyu bounced around in her seat happily.

"Hold on. Who said anything about marriage? This is only a date. And plus you're a minor! I don't want to go to jail!" Hwoarang inched away from Xiaoyu. Xiaoyu inched closer.

"Don't you like my dress Hwoarang? If you don't like it I'm going to cry!" Xiaoyu pointed to her dress.

"Yeah, very nice. Very bright and lots of yellow." Hwoarang banged his head against the metal bars surrounding the Ferris wheel seat.

"Hey! I just remembered! I brought my make-up kit! LET'S PLAY MAKEOVER!" Xiaoyu cheerfully pulled out her make-up kit.

"NOOO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" Hwoarang screamed and tried to jump out of the Ferris wheel seat. Xiaoyu smiled and held him down.

"Hold still! We wouldn't want to mess up the makeover!" Xiaoyu pulled out her blush and eyeliner.

"HELP!"

Ten minutes later the Ferris wheel ride ended. Hwoarang looked like a clown/hooker. He angrily walked around the amusement park with Xiaoyu vigorously jumping up and down.

"Lets go on more rides!" Xiaoyu said enthusiastically. Hwoarang shook his head.

"Can't you stand still? No! No more rides! You're so fucking annoying!" Hwoarang yelled. Xiaoyu's eyes started to water and her lower lip started to tremble.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! YOU DON'T LIKE ME ANYMORE! I HATE YOU! I'M NOT HAVING ANY FUN!" Xiaoyu shrieked in Hwoarang's ear. By now, everyone started to stare at the two of them.

"Stop crying! SHH! Sorry! I didn't mean it! SHHH! Be quiet!" Hwoarang tried to calm Xiaoyu down. Xiaoyu started to scream uncontrollably. Hwoarang placed his hands on her shoulders and tried to stop her from screaming.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Xiaoyu screeched. She kicked Hwoarang in the shin and bit his arm.

"You BITCH!" Hwoarang yelled, cradling his injured arm.

"WAAAHH! YOU CALLED ME A BAD WORD!" Xiaoyu pulled Hwoarang's hair and punched him in the nose.

"Ah fuck!" Hwoarang wiped the blood from his nose and pushed Xiaoyu to the ground. Xiaoyu kicked and punched the ground, still screaming.

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" She screamed, throwing sand in Hwoarang's eyes.

"STUPID KID!" Hwoarang tried to wipe the sand from his eyes. Suddenly he had an idea. He ran to a concession stand and bought a candy apple. Upon seeing the apple, Xiaoyu stopped crying and held out her hands.

"Gimme!" Hwoarang handed her the candy apple. "Wanna hear me sing a song?" Xiaoyu said out of nowhere. Hwoarang looked terrified of her.

"Ok." He said slowly, keeping his eyes on her the whole time. Xiaoyu finished her candy in record time.

"Hey Hwoarang, your so fine! You're so fine you blow my mind! HEY HWOARANG!" Xiaoyu sang like a cheerleader. Hwoarang slowly backed away from her.

"Thanks...that was a... uh... nice song."

"I made the song for you. It was supposed to be 'Mickey your so fine' but I changed it." Xiaoyu did a cartwheel.

"Ook. What do you want to do now demon-child? I mean... Xiaoyu...?" Hwoarang asked. His nose stopped bleeding but his eyes still stung from the sand. His arm had a clear bite mark on it and the ringing in his ears died down a bit.

"GIVE ME A KISS!" Xiaoyu squealed. Hwoarang clenched his teeth and then forced a smile. He quickly kissed Xiaoyu's cheek.

"This is as far as we go. Any farther and I can be arrested."

"What?" Xiaoyu said confused.

"Let's do something else now. Like go see an exorcist...?" Hwoarang whispered the last part. Xiaoyu twirled the pigtails in her hair around.

"I'm tired now Hwoarang. Take me home." Hwoarang was jumping for joy. He hailed a taxi and shoved Xiaoyu in.

"Goodbye! Wreak havoc on some other poor unsuspecting person!" Hwoarang said, waving to Xiaoyu.

"What a crazy freak kid! That's why you don't drink alcohol when you're pregnant and have a lunatic child like Xiaoyu!" Hwoarang thought, walking home.

(A/N: Review to find out what happens next. If I don't get reviews I'm not continuing! I swear...)

(Another A/N: I'm going to write a sequel to this story called The Tekken Men. I don't know why I'm telling you this... oh well...REVIEW)


	2. Clingy? No way!

(A/N: Thanks for reviewing: Riku's Heartless Angel, KiD-AmaZo, cookie4monster24, muonline-fan, Makaveli, x1nfernal, Hwoarangsguardie, Lysander, QuetzZzz, Wing Zero, mrs-ishida, and more if there is any. You people are my friends... unless you don't want to be.)

DATE ATTEMPT #4- Christie 

"Eddy used to bring me to this club all the time. He is such a great dancer." Christie said while doing a handstand. Hwoarang cocked his head and watched Christie on the dance floor.

"We've been talking about Eddy for a pretty long time now..."

"Eddy always used to dance with me. He was the perfect dance partner." Christie sighed and started break dancing.

"Eddy seems real nice but..." Hwoarang started. Christie quickly cut in.

"Eddy is such a gentleman. He would hold doors open for me and let me choose the movies. Eddy is the sweetest guy in the world. I remember this one time; Eddy and I were walking around town. I felt cold and Eddy gave me his jacket. Gosh, Eddy was so nice. I have a shrine in my room dedicated to Eddy. I also have this blown-up picture of Eddy on my bedroom wall."

"That's a little creepy..." Hwoarang started.

"...All the girls wanted Eddy to be theirs. Of course Eddy will forever be mine and if anyone dares to try to take him away from me, I shall personally rip their hearts out. There was this one girl, Jessica. She tried flirting with my Eddy. Unfortunately for her, she had a little "accident" and met her demise." Christie had a wild gleam in her eyes.

"W-what happened to her?"

"Let's just say, she had a little fall... from a twelve-story building." Christie stopped dancing and wiped her brow.

"Mental note: Get Christie to a psychiatrist." Hwoarang thought. Christie smiled at Hwoarang and ran her fingers through her brown hair. Hwoarang gave her his best fake-smile.

"So, what exactly happened to you and Eddy? It sounds like you to had a...uh... perfect relationship." Hwoarang asked. Christie stared into space for a few seconds.

"Well actually, he broke up with me because he said I was too clingy." Christie said.

"You? Clingy? No way." Hwoarang said sarcastically. Luckily for Hwoarang, Christie didn't notice his sarcasm.

"Even though Eddy and I are broken up, I still follow him everywhere. But it's a little difficult to follow him around because the court requires me to stay at least one hundred meters away from him. And to carefully watch my sweetheart, I installed hidden cameras in his home. Also I leave about a hundred messages on his answering machine everyday. Sometimes I sneak into his house and write messages on his mirrors with lipstick..." Christie giggled.

"Want to see my Eddyalbum?" Christie asked, taking out a neon yellow photo album. The album was full of pictures of Eddy. Eddy walking, Eddy showering, Eddy watching TV, Eddy combing his hair, Eddy eating dinner, Eddy sleeping, Eddy changing his clothes, Eddy brushing his teeth, Eddy on the computer, Eddy playing videogames, Eddy dancing...

"Oh my God..." Hwoarang whispered. He turned around and ran as fast as he could away from Christie and the "Eddyalbum".

"Hwoarang! Where are you going? You didn't even get to see my collection of Eddy dolls yet! Come back!" Christie called after him.

(A/N: Sorry this chapter was only one short date. Next chapter will have at least three dates I promise! And sorry to all you Christie fans. I hope I haven't offended you in any way)


	3. I always knew you were an odd one

**A word from Chaos: Sorry if your favorite Tekken gals are being insulted. Especially Julia fans, please don't hurt me...**

DATE ATTEMPT #5- Tetsujin 

Hwoarang strolled into the restaurant and looked around for his date. Tetsujin sat by herself at a table. The flower on her head drooped a little. Hwoarang took one look at Tetsujin sitting there and promptly walked out of the restaurant. Poor Tetsujin waited and waited, but her date didn't show up.

DATE ATTEMPT #6- Michelle

Michelle walked into the classy restaurant wearing a Native American outfit. Everyone in the restaurant stared at her and whispered.

"Oh God..." Hwoarang thought. He buried his head in his hands.

"Hello... Hwoarang." Michelle said doing a rain dance.

"What the hell are you doing, Michelle?" Hwoarang hissed. His cheeks were getting red with embarrassment.

"My name now is Sitting Donkey, Grey Monkey. I am doing a sacred rain dance that was passed down from my ancestors. This dance will make next year's crop rich.

"Michelle, We live in the city. There is no crop!" Hwoarang said, trying to hide behind his menu. The people in the restaurant continued to stare at the two.

"As I said, my name is Sitting..."

"Just sit your ass down." Hwoarang snapped. Poor Hwoarang was being driven insane with each passing date.

"AIIIEEEEE!" Michelle sat down and screamed. She was making Native American war cries. Hwoarang groaned and started whacking his pretty redhead against the table.

"Try to quiet down a bit." Hwoarang pleaded. Michelle stared at Hwoarang.

"I am praying to the great spirits to help the earth. Too much pollution is destroying us." Michelle sat down cross-legged and started to pray. Hwoarang's face turned as red as his hair.

"Please! Just look at the menu, pick some food, eat it, I'll pay, and then go home back to your tree hugging." Hwoarang begged. Michelle obeyed. She picked up her menu and scanned through it. Suddenly she flung the menu and started to yell.

"Innocent animals! Murdered! For our food! OUR ANIMAL BROTHERS AND SISTERS, KILLED!" Michelle began to rant. Hwoarang sunk lower and lower into his seat.

"What is this? A slaughterhouse? THIS IS INHUMANE!" Michelle continued her tirade, ignoring the glares she was receiving.

"Shh... just get something vegetarian then!" Hwoarang hushed. Michelle stopped yelling and looked from Hwoarang to the menu.

"I'll just have a Cesar Salad then." Hwoarang was surprised at Michelle's sudden calmness. The waiter took their orders and disappeared into the back room (where the chefs were). A few minutes later the waiter came back with their food.

"What's this?" Michelle asked pointing to little pink pieces that were sprinkled on top of her salad. Without thinking, Hwoarang replied, "Bacon bits."

"WHAT!?" Michelle screamed. She knocked her salad to the floor and began another tirade. Hwoarang silently finished his food and quickly left the restaurant, leaving Michelle with the bill.

"Jesus, why do I keep getting all the insane women?" Hwoarang thought to himself as he walked down the street. Michelle's ranting could still be heard though. Hwoarang shook his head and started to laugh, just a little.

DATE ATTEMPT #7- Julia

Hwoarang drummed his fingers on the library table as he waited for Julia. He had a good feeling about this date and he was sure it would work out.

"Ciao." Julia said. Her face was completely hidden behind a book that she was reading.

"Hey Jules!" Hwoarang said brightly, everyone in the library shushed him. Julia made no response and continued to read.

"Whatcha reading?" Hwoarang asked. Still no answer. Hwoarang playfully pulled the book down.

"Oh... sorry. This book was so interesting, I couldn't hear you." Julia said. Her eyes shone under her glasses. Hwoarang looked at the title. 'Harry Potter and the stuff that happens to him.' Hwoarang looked at Julia quizzically.

"I didn't know you were a Potter fan."

"Ever since I read the first book, I was hooked!" Julia laughed at her rhyme. Hwoarang cocked his head and watched Julia go back to reading.

"So... when are you going to be done?" Hwoarang was getting bored so he started to doodle on the desk.

"Hmm... a few more pages..." Julia murmured. Hwoarang sighed loudly.

"SHHH!" Everyone in the library said. Hwoarang sneered at them and continued to doodle. It was deathly quiet in the library. The only noises were Hwoarang furiously clicking his pen and Julia's rustling pages.

"I'm bored!" Hwoarang exclaimed after ten minutes. Everyone in the library, once again shushed him.

"Bastards." Hwoarang said under his breath. He turned back to Julia who still had her nose buried in the book.

"And............ finished." Julia said with a contented sigh. She carefully slid the book into her backpack and pulled out some notebooks and papers.

"What are you doing now?" Hwoarang asked bewildered.

"Studying."

"On a Saturday?" Julia nodded and started writing. Hwoarang was amazed. He had heard that Julia was a nerd but he didn't expect this.

"Why are you studying?" Hwoarang asked, leaning back on his chair.

"I want to help this planet. I am trying to find a way to reforest Arizona. If I don't find a solution, Arizona could be turned into a desert! I also want to stop Global Warming!" Julia spoke with so much passion for her homeland and the earth.

"Uh huh. And how is this related to our date?" Hwoarang was getting impatient. He wasn't the type to care about pollution and all that.

"Excuse me if I actually care about this planet. It's people like you that are slowly killing it. Driving around in your cars, polluting the very air we breathe. How dare you?" Julia ranted. Hwoarang was taken aback.

"........"

"Our poor Ozone layer is being worn out. Soon it will be gone and then what? When the big bad sunrays are burning you alive where are you gonna run? So Mr. Hwo-rang, sorry if I actually care enough to help think of a solution!" Hwoarang was tired of being yelled at in each date.

"I'm curious to know how you're going to help the earth by writing love poems to Jin." Hwoarang smirked. Julia gasped and hid her notes under her arm.

"These aren't love poems to Jin!" Julia protested. Hwoarang rolled his eyes and snatched the notebook away from her.

"Oh, how I love Jin." Hwoarang started reading. "I love his chocolate brown eyes, his charming smile and his raven hair. Jin is sweet, gentle and kind. Jin, the man of my dreams." Hwoarang finished the poem and looked at Julia with another smirk. Unfortunately for Hwoarang, a certain someone heard the whole poem.

"I always knew you were an odd one." Jin said to Hwoarang. Hwoarang started to protest.

"I didn't..." Hwoarang started.

"Now it all makes sense. Your attempts to "kick my ass" are actually chances to be near me, to touch me." Jin continued. Hwoarang's face turned red.

"No! I don't..." Hwoarang started again.

"I'm sorry I have to say this but, I don't like you. I am not gay. This obsession you have with me has to stop!" Jin shook his head and walked away. Hwoarang angrily turned back to Julia.

"Now look what you have done! Jin thinks I'm gay and I that I have feelings for him!" Hwoarang fumed. Julia hid behind a book.

"I'm sorry Hwoarang. I really am." Julia said earnestly. Hwoarang angrily flopped down in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well at least Kazama didn't kick my ass. If I were in his position and I heard him reading a poem about how much he loved me, I would have murdered his ass right there."

"I am so sorry. Will you ever forgive me?" Julia asked. Hwoarang's face softened.

"Okay. I forgive you." Hwoarang sighed.

"Great. Now that's over I'm going to go back to reading." Julia pulled out an even bigger book called Harry Potter and Some People.

"Why are you reading?" Hwoarang asked unbelievingly.

"Well... if you can think of something else to do in a library..." Julia said matter-of-factly.

After three hours Julia was finally finished her book. When she looked up Hwoarang was long gone and the library was completely empty.

"Hwoarang? Hwoarang!" Julia called. No answer.

"Fine! Then fuck you too!" Julia called out.

**A word from Chaos: Sorry Tetsujin's date was so short. Review the story or I won't update! Oh and another thing, some people think that Mai is my imaginary friend. She's not! Well... maybe...**


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